madeline’s birth story, part 3

Part 1 and Part 2

11 May 2012
At three in the morning, the midwife performed another cervix examination (depending on the person who performs it, cervix examination can be super uncomfortable. When my doctor performs it, it doesn’t hurt that much, but when the midwives perform it, it really hurts), I was hoping that I was already 5 or 6cm dilated, much to my dismay I was only 3 going on 4cm dilated. It wasn’t even 4cm dilated!

From that point on, things were spiralling down. My excitement were dropping to the minimum level. Exhaustion and frustration took over.

All night long and no progress? You’ve got to be kidding me!

Around six, I was offered whether I wanted to stay in the observatory room or would like to wait in my hospital room. I was already sick of that room that I chose to wait in my room.

Just like the day before, I felt that the contraction were getting weaker during the day, but I still couldn’t get some rest.

The midwife performed another cervix examination around ten, and it was still stuck at 3 going on 4cm dilated.

As the day went by, I became more and more frustrated and exhausted. I demanded my doctor over and over again, but he’d yet made a visit.

Around lunch time, I had a meltdown. Both my Mom and Mom-in-Law suggested that I should just go ahead with C-Section, seeing that I was already exhausted.

Diaz asked me what I wanted, whether I wanted an induction or C-Section. I told him that I wanted things to be over with, I wanted a C-Section.

Finally at three, my doctor paid me a visit. I told him that I was already exhausted, he smiled and told me that I looked fine.

Then he performed another cervix examination. I was set to another disappointment but surprise surprise, he declared that I was 5 going on 6cm dilated!

Looking back, I’m not sure whether I was really 5 going on 6cm dilated or was my doctor just enlightened me. Whichever it was, it totally worked, because as soon as he said it, my excitement escalated again and there was a boost of energy rushing through my body.

He sent me to the VK area again, but this time it was to the delivery room! And he ordered an IV fluid on me (and some other drugs) to accelerate the contractions and the dilations.

Beforehand, I already asked for some pain killers, somehow I just knew that it was gonna be super extra painful. He agreed and ordered a pain killer to be inserted in the anus, surprisingly not epidural nor ILA though.

The IV fluid was injected to my body at 4.30pm, and immediately I felt contraction after contraction hitting me every five minutes.

At 6.00pm, I couldn’t take it anymore and I yelled to the midwife to give me the damn pain killer. It went something like this…
Angela (yelling): I want that pain killer!!!
Midwife (kindly): You can’t have pain killer, Mam! Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to feel the contractions.
Angela (yelling): Dr. Ridwan agreed to give me a pain killer! I want a pain killer!!!
Midwife (kindly): Oh he did? He allowed an ILA?
Angela (yelling): I don’t care what it is, just give me the damn thing!
Diaz: No, it’s a drug to be inserted in the anus.
Midwife: Oh ok!

So she finally gave me the pain killer. Well guess what? It totally didn’t work! The contractions were still painful. And when I say painful, it’s really painful! It’s like something ripping off your body from the inside.

At 7.00pm, I had another cervix examination and I was 7cm dilated.

As soon as the midwife said it, I was like, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me?!? All that pain and still 3 more to go?!?’. I asked when would the next cervix examination be? And they said at 9.00pm. I became super pissed, ‘OMG! Two more hours of this?!?’.

At that point, I already felt the urge to push and I told the midwife, but she told me to stay put because it’s not the time yet.

7.30pm and the urge to push became even stronger and the contractions were just too insane for words. I told Diaz to tell the midwife to check me up again at 8. I couldn’t believe that 7cm dilation could cause me all that pain.

Few minutes after I said those words, along with another contraction I felt some watery thing gushing out of my… I didn’t even know what anymore. I thought I was peeing, but Diaz checked it out, turned out it was blood.

The midwife was called again and she calmly said that the dilation was progressing. The end was almost here.

Another contraction hit and I felt another gush of watery thing coming out. Diaz checked it out again, this time it was water. My Mom-in-Law was with us at that time and she said it was my amniotic fluid.

The midwife was summoned again and she tested the water. It was indeed amniotic fluid.

Things were kinda blurry at that point as contraction after contraction kept hitting me without so much of a pause, with the rest of amniotic fluid kept coming out. But I remembered Diaz yelled to the midwife to call the doctor immediately. I could sense panic and urgency in his tone.

The doctor came few minutes later, already in his green scrub. I saw him putting on the rubber boots and plastic apron. And they prepped me up for delivery.

I was told to lay on my right side because as it turned out Madeline’s head position was posterior, or what they called it sunny-side-up position.

Then the midwives told me to push when another contraction hit. So I pushed. Wrongly.

I swear at that point I didn’t really know what I was doing. My breath was short and I didn’t even know how to push! The midwife coached me, ‘it’s just like when you’re pooing!’ So I did. And I did poo, LOL.

But I just didn’t care anymore. I remember someone told me that it’s okay to poo during labor, the medical team was trained to handle some poo. In fact, it’s their job. I wasn’t ashamed as well, when you were in that much pain, nothing else really mattered, just the pain.

So basically the first few pushings were spent to empty out my bowel.

Afterwards, it was the real push. I was moaning and closing my eyes for the first pushes and the midwife told me to open my eyes. The doctor ordered some oxygen, because my breath was short. Didn’t help. It was still short.

After, I don’t know how many pushes, finally Madeline’s head was crowning and I was told to lay down on my back and opened my legs as wide as possible, toad-like legs.

My doctor started to prep something, and I was told to push as hard as possible. I did. And after three pushes, I think, Madeline’s head was out.

I was ready to give another push, but the doctor stopped me. He pulled the rest of Madeline’s body.

And at 8.29pm, after 25 hours of labor, Madeline Aimee Witigna was born. Screaming her lungs out. Ten perfect fingers and ten toes.

I looked at Diaz, who had been a real champ since we entered the delivery room, forcing me to eat and drink something so I would have some energy, holding my hands and rubbing my back for each contractions and during the pushes, and he said ‘you did it!’.

I told him to go and look after Madeline, who was being cleaned by the midwife.

Few minutes later, Madeline was put on my chest for the skin-to-skin contact and early initiation of breastfeeding.

And the first thing that I noticed and said it out loud was, ‘wow! She has long nails!’ And the second thing that I noticed was that she has a lot of hair on her body. I couldn’t see her face just yet, so yeah… Those were the things that I noticed, LOL.

She then started looking for my nipple. It was really cute, she drooled all over my chest and breast.

I looked at Diaz and he had teary eyes and all smiles, he then kissed me. I think that was the first time I ever see him crying. We were officially parents! I will always remember that moment.

All the while, the doctor started to stitch me up down there. After the pain of contractions, those stitches were just like a joke to me, and with a beautiful baby girl on my chest, it just didn’t matter anymore.

So that was how Madeline came to this world. It was a bittersweet experience but she’s worth every single pain.

And if you ask me, the pushing part isn’t painful at all, it’s indeed like doing your usual number 2 business, it’s the contraction that drives you to the breaking limit.

PS: My OBGYN is Dr. Ridwan and he’s the best. I highly recommend him.

madeline’s birth story, part 2

Part 1

10 May 2012
Around midnight, I started feeling some regular contractions. And at three, I installed contraction timer app on my phone (I highly recommend installing this sort of application, btw. So much easier than doing it the traditional way, which was pen, paper and watch).

My contractions were around 5-7 minutes apart, but I remember my doctor told me that it has to be regular within the three hour window. So I waited until morning, practically didn’t get enough sleep for two days in a row. Every time I tried to fall asleep, another tidal of contraction hit.

I went down at six and had a little breakfast, but surprisingly as soon as I was in standing or sitting position, the contractions became slower. From that point on, it slowed down to 10-15 minutes apart.

I texted my doctor again and he told me to wait for another two hours and see if the contractions became regular again, then I could head down to the hospital.

But it slowed down during the day. I even went by one hour without any contraction.

Around four, after a little bit of nap, my contractions became stronger and regular again, around 5-7 minutes apart. I waited for 1,5 hour before texting my doctor again. He told me to come to the hospital.

After battling the evening rush hour in Kemang area, we arrived at Kemang Medical Care around 7.30pm. My doctor, coincidentally, was at the VK area so he checked me up immediately.

He said that I was 2cm dilated and he admitted me. Yes! Finally, some actions!

I spent the night at the observatory room, was hooked to the the CTG machine again, the contractions were definitely there this time.

At eleven, the midwife performed a cervix examination and she declared that I was 3cm dilated. I was very happy with the progress, and wishing that Madeline would be born at dawn time.

I didn’t get enough sleep again that night, every time I tried to close my eyes another contraction hit me. Starting to get exhausted, but the prospect of meeting her soon kept me motivated.

To be continued… Part 3

happy baby

The kind of thing that made up my day since her arrival.

one week old

Last Friday night this little Princess screamed her lungs out, announcing her grand arrival to the world. I almost cannot believe that she’s one week old already. I’m still basking in her newness and she’s one week old already?!? *disbelief*

Madeline’s one week milestones
- She still can scream her lungs out. Seriously she may be very tiny in size but boy can she scream! If she wants to be a rockstar one day, she’s definitely already on the right track.
- She can almost latch on my right breast perfectly (ouch!), still struggling on the left but she’s getting there.
- She’s developing a two-hour pattern of pee-drink-and-sleep.
- She’s a lot calmer during the day, even at night. Becomes really fussy at dawn time, refusing to stay asleep. Still yet to figure out the culprit. Number one candidate: The temperature is too cold, even though it’s already 27 degrees celcius *fanning myself during sleep*
- She smiles every now and then, and I’m trying my best to capture it on photo, but it’s super hard.

She does have my eyes, much to my delight. The verdict is still out for the dimples. When she’s nursing, I think I see a little dent on each cheek, but not sure yet.

Oh and she’s a copycat of her Daddy. My Dad-in-Law brought a picture of Diaz when he was three months old and they both look exactly the same.

How am I doing? I’m doing great, just lacking sleep.

Just like Madeline is learning to thrive in the world outside the womb, I’m also learning to be a mother. Learning to read her pattern, learning to be super-extra-patience, especially during nursing when she screams and throws tantrum because she cannot latch on properly.

Parenting is indeed a learning process. There are times when she frustrates me to no end, but when I see her cute little face and how much she brings joy into my life, all the exhaustion and frustration seem to melt away.

madeline’s birth story, part 1

Trying to get this story done as soon as possible, while it’s still fresh on my mind.

Without furtherado, let’s begin…

8 May 2012
It all started in the morning, when I had the bloody show, I was super excited. It’s the first time in my life that I felt happy to see some pinkish spotting on my panties. I thought to myself, ‘finally! A light at the end of the (pregnancy) tunnel!’

A friend suggested that I should just go to hospital, I opted not to, because I still didn’t feel any contractions. My ‘What to Expect’ book said no need to head out of the door just yet when you have bloody show. I texted my doctor, and he also told me to wait for regular contractions.

So I went by and enjoyed my day. Had a meeting with a client, walked to the bank to do some errands and even watched The Avengers at night.

When I went to bed that night, I still didn’t feel any contractions but both Diaz and I told Princess to come out today, if possible.

9 May 2012
Around two in the morning, I woke up for bathroom trip and suddenly I felt something coming out down there. I looked down and it was a clot of fresh red blood. I panicked and woke Diaz up immediately.

We went to the hospital right away and the ER nurse whisked us to the observatory room, where I was instantly hooked to the CTG machine.

After more than an hour of monitoring (baby’s heartbeat was good, contractions were still insignificant), the midwife declared that I was only 1cm dilated and was sent home. She said that the bleeding was normal and part of early signs of labor.

I was happy that Princess was doing good inside, but I was still worried about the bleeding and didn’t buy that it was part of bloody show.

Around eight, I was still bleeding so I texted my doctor again. He said that it’s the cervical polyp, and told me to stay put. As long as the bleeding was still minor, I shouldn’t be worried and just wait for the regular contractions.

At that time I started to feel some contractions. I was clueless of how contractions would feel, but then just like everything else, when you know you know. After two or three contractions I just knew that those were contractions. Nana described it like a tidal wave, and she was absolutely right.

I told my Mom about my midnight run to the hospital and she started bugging me again about having an induction.

She’d been bugging me about induction for days, she claimed forty weeks of pregnancy was already overdue and I should just go ahead with induction or C-section. I’d told her thousands of times that forty weeks weren’t overdue just yet, but she wouldn’t listen.

I love my Mom, I do, but she can be overbearing most of the time and it frustrates me to no end. Noone else wanted this baby out more than I did.

Then she came over and demanded that we go to doctor right away and asked him to induce me. The combination of her bugging and my bleeding had me worried again and I agreed to have another check up. I was gonna have my forty weeks check up the morning after anyway, might as well do it, get some answers and also so the doctor, himself, could explain about the forty-weeks-are-not-overdue concept to Mom.

I’d been considering having an induction and had been researching about it. I already knew that there was a big chance of complication with induction and it might end up with C-section. I’m not against C-section, if I do end up with C-section, so be it. But I’d like to discuss with my doctor first and have his point of view.

The visit to the doctor office only confirmed that Princess was still in good shape and once again the doctor advised me to just stay put.

I had a meltdown at the doctor’s office, mix of worriness and frustration, Mom’s badgering didn’t help either.

My doctor is the best, at the beginning of my pregnancy I thought that he was a little bit cold but as the pregnancy progressed, he’s proven to be very compassionate and great.

He reassured my Mom (which helped tremendously, because it shut her up immediately) that everything was okay and induction at that point was pointless.

He did schedule an induction for me on the 16th should things didn’t progress naturally, but he was positive that Princess would be out within two or three days.

And he was absolutely right.

To be continued… Part 2

behind the name

MADELINE (Hebrew): Woman from Magdala, a town on the Sea of Galilee, home of Saint Mary Magdalen. She was one of Jesus’ most celebrated disciples, and the most important woman disciple in the movement of Jesus. Jesus cleansed her of “seven demons”, conventionally interpreted as referring to complex illnesses. She became most prominent during His last days, being present at the cross after the male disciples had fled, and at His burial. She was the first person to see Jesus after His resurrection.

MADELINE (Aramaic): Tower, elevated, great, magnificent.

**********

AIMEE (French): Beloved.

AI (Japanese, Chinese): Love.

**********

A friend of mine named his sons after saints’ names and I was inspired to do the same. But finding a beautiful female saint’s name without sounding too out there is a lot harder than I thought.

Then one day when Diaz and I were brainstorming baby names, the name ‘Madeline’ came up. I’ve always liked the name ‘Madeline’ for as long as I remember, so we put it down on our mutually-like name list. Until I found out that ‘Madeline’ is actually a derivation of a saint’s name! An important one, nonetheless. Without furtherado, I proposed to lock the name to Diaz and he agreed.

As for Aimee, I just love the fact that it means the same thing in three different languages: Love.

Our hope is that she will be a Jesus’ disciple, become a magnificent woman and always surrounded by love all her life.

Source: Wikipedia – St. Mary Magdalen, Wikipedia – Madeleine, Think Baby Names – Madeline. Think Baby Names – Aimee.

hello world!

MADELINE AIMEE WITIGNA
Born on 11 May 2012 at 8.29pm
3040 grams of pure love and 48 centimeters of happiness

bump watch: week 39

Guess what? I’m still pregnant!

Still no sign of Princess coming anytime soon. My belly has been tight for days and I’ve felt super minor twinges here and there, but that’s as far as my contraction goes. If you can call that contraction, because I don’t think it is.

I’m really really hoping that I don’t have to keep my 40 weeks appointment for this Thursday, but by the looks of it, I might have *sigh*.

Why won’t you come out, Princess? Mommy’s getting desperate already.

maternity photo shoot

Sneak peek of my maternity photo shoot with Morning Photoart.

This photo shoot was taken last Saturday, when I was at my 38 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy. A very long overdue photo shoot. Originally, I wanted to get a maternity photo shoot done when I hit my six months of pregnancy or something, but at that time I felt that my belly wasn’t big enough, so I decided to postpone it until the very last minute (although there was this little bit of fear in the back of my mind that Princess would be born before the photo shoot actually happened).

Having a photo shoot taken when you’re heavily pregnant was very exhausting! Seriously! It only lasted for about three hours, but it totally drained me down. Around hour two, I couldn’t wait for this thing to be over with.

Anyways… It was a great experience and I’m glad we actually did this photo shoot. A little something to preserve this magical nine-months-journey. Years from now, when Princess is old enough to understand, I will sit with her, show her these photos, and tell her stories about how she once lived happily inside my belly.

A little bit about Morning Photoart, it’s a newly-established division of Morning Communications. It’s still in its newborn phase, but Diaz and I are very excited about this new establishment.

Do check out Morning Photoart’s Facebook Page and be a dear and click that little ‘Like’ button. We’d really appreciate it And if you want to have your photos taken… Any kind of photos, just contact us via email: info@morningphotoart.com, we’d love to hear from you.

PS: As it turns out, my belly button never popped out, much to my delight.

at 39++ weeks

She still wants to claim my womb as her home.

Still no sign of labor whatsoever. No contractions. No amniotic fluid leak. No pain. No nothing. Looks like she’s very comfortable inside, happily kicking me all day long.

Went to have another check-up this morning. Everything looks great: My amniotic fluid is still in good level; Placenta is in the right place; Blood pressure is normal; Princess’ head is already on the birth canal; She has gained around 50 grams since last week, and it’s still within normal growth chart. All there’s left to do is just… Wait.

Sounds like a broken record, but please… please… Princess, come out already, will you?